the journey begins

I have thought for awhile now about how journaling has helped with dealing with the grief of losing my dad. It has taken many different approaches to even begin to understand the gravity of this loss. But, in that process I have decided that journaling them on the computer makes sense so that I can actually look back on those tough days and see how far I have hopefully come.

In the process of of this self discovery, I have had so many thought running threw my head about so many things. At times, I have so many things that I want to say and do that I feel lost in my own thoughts. Yesterday, as I lay in my chair dreading the possible scenarios of Jeff's surgery today and probably even more anxious about being in a hospital again so soon after Dad's death, I remembered that nothing is as bad as it seems once some light is put on it. So, that is what I want to use this forum for...to shed some light on those thoughts that fill my head and some even that darken my spirit.

My hope is that the process will lighten my emotional load and help me to teach myself to be the wife, mother and woman that I hoped I would already be at this point in my life.